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A Pitiful Twilight

As promised. I have returned to rave..or more appropriately rant, about twilight. The utter nonsense that is twilight. I don't even believe I'm saying such things about this film but flipping hell. What the fuck was that?

The producers *must* have been on a budget or something because seriously, for the outcome to be as hackneyed as that, I doubt they spent any money or time on it.
Firstly, if you've read the book, you're always likely to get disappointed when watching the film cause all you think about is ''hmph, they missed out this and that and OMG what was that?!'' so it's a bad idea to do what I did and await something amazing.
The book itself flows quite fast, it's like one minute they've just met, the next..they're in love? It's too quick, you don't *feel* like it's real..surely you don't fall in love so quickly? But anyway, like I said the book rushes through emotions and feelings? The film however, just takes it to another level. It's even faster. Like you blink and they're already wanting to die for each other. Basically, you're a bit like 'woah, slow it down a little'
It takes time to form a character base and I don't think the film conveys that well enough. You can tell that the actors aren't feeling the characters. They seem a little lost with what to do with themselves.

I have to say, I had high expectations for the cullens but it just ruins your own interpretation when you see the movie. For me, when I read a book, my imagination goes somewhat wild and I tend to over exaggerate the characters and their persoalities. Edward's personality did not at all show through in the movie. He looked, for lack of a better word, stupid. He walks like an idiot...he was supposed to be mysterious and hot and sexy and ALL THAT but he just wasn't. It was a big let down.
Carlisle wasn't that great either and the actor that plays Esme is the same woman from grey's anatomy and she annoys the hell out of me! She's got a troublesome looking face and she's everywhere! Just get lost! >_
And Jacob and his hair! I mean WHAT THE FUCK? Jacob was supposed to be good looking for god's sake! His hair was long and black and disgusting and the outfits, oh don't even get me started. The wardrode was pathetic. ALL OF IT. Bella has no sense of style whatsoever.

The only good thing worth mentioning about the film was the baseball game. It was fab, only cause the song playing at the time was Supermassive Black Hole by MUSE! And then James and them lot came in and he looked good but not dramatic enough. They didn't portray the vampire traits well, as in there was no extreme vampy growling and fang bearing. THIS is what I was looking forward to. When James crouched into the familiar ready-to-attack position, he didn't even crouch! He was sort of bent over awkwardly, with a scrunched up face and it didn't look right. I think they need to take tips from Van Helsing or Underworld or something..just get all vamped up. Mmm, Definitely.
They played Linkin Park 'Leave Out All The Rest' at the end and it was brill. Jade and I just sat for five minutes afterwards enjoying the song ;)

All in all, the movie was rather pathetic. And guess what? There was a group of Edward fan girls wearing hoodies saying 'We Love Edward' it was so over the top..they were screaming about and squealing like stupid immature girls (which they were) when he appeared on the screen..and his skin didn't sparkle beautifully, like it did in the book. He looked good in what, three scenes? Yeah, THREE!

Having said that, all my mates who hadn't read the book loved it, they thought it was hilarious which it was. I mean, the CHEESE. The cheesyness of it will make you roar with laughter, that's how funny it was. You just have to watch it. Now I'm contradicting myself but who cares? If you want to laugh, then twilight is great for that. Just don't expect it to be anything great..think soppy bollywood movie...instead with white people and devoid of colour. I suppose I'm just a violent person who wants to see all the gore and blood..you know like watching the vampires actually hunt and turn humans and hear them scream in pain? Mmm....the sweet satisfaction...I think I'd make a good vampire...
If Peter Jackson was the director of this movie..oh hell yeah! Should I suggest that they give him a call? I think it'd rake them in even more money. Hehe.

So, I declare the twilight rant over...but I may return to say more..*MAY*
If you're in a funny mood and want to laugh, then I recommend it! I'm bouncing about with excitement cause my book that my lovely friends bought me as a birthday present will be here soon and it's a PHENOMENAL book. The Invisible Ring by Anne Bishop. Fabulous. I can't wait ^__^ !!

Inabiz Shiz.

Comments

Phishy said…
edward is ugly~~~

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