And so it begins...
''Why doesn't he leave me alone? All I do is voice my thoughts, I don't even do it in a rude manner like I used to. I just continually counter what he says because I like to present an argument, if that.
In fact, it's not an argument. It's a debate. But he has to turn it into something worse. It always ends up with me being hit. Stop bloody hurting me, jeez. Violence isn't the answer to everything. Just because what I'm saying is the truth, and you can't freaking handle it. So you just beat me, cause I'm annoying? Is that it?
Yeah, I think it might be.
He gets so irritated by me, and having such a short fuse doesn't help. So short that it's practically non exisitant -__-''
''Then people wonder why I'm so violent. Cause I grew up with it''
''I'm thick, I don't know any other way.'' she continues.
''Makes me so angry, and upset. I'm too old for this, why can't you just STOP! Stop all this hostility! The world is enough of a state as it is. We don't have to encourage it in our bloody homes as well.''
''Arrrrrhhhh. I'm not going to cry cause I've been doing that too much and this shit always happens, what's the point in crying over it? I don't know why I can't feel like I have something to stand on when I'm up against him. I always just... LET him.
The wimp in me seems to take control...or not.
I've the ability to defend myself but choose not to cause for the most part, it feels deserved.''
Does this girl ever stop grumbling about her crappy homelife? She lives there, she's not about to move out anytime soon so she'll just have to deal with it. How? Mmm, not quite sure. Maybe she should just...DO NOTHING cause she's good at doing that. Besides, people are worse off than her. She could be homeless. I think she should complain less and appreciate more *sigh*
Anyway, I JUST realised something. I think I might be going through a self-image-obsession faze. Every time I finish eating something (could be anything), my brain tells me that I've done a bad thing ... =S
I just think ''I shouldn't have eaten that, now I have to work it all off'' it becomes a pain. Then I have to do ten minutes extra..usually the 'yellow belt sequence' as they like to call it, just so the 'fat feeling' doesn't set in.
I still feel fat though..which leads me to doing more exercise.
I think I only feel satisfied when I go to bed hungry. At least I know I haven't eaten so I don't have to do an extra work out XD ...hehe I *almost* hate working out. I can tolerate it, but not the extra part. That's just troublesome.
So anyway, I don't think I've gotten to the point where I'm making myself sick. That's prolly considered to be an eating disorder. Mine is more like.. ''I want muscles. Let's work out. Eating makes me fat. Let's not do that.'' okay maybe that's bordering on an eating disorder.... Oh who frikin cares! I'm not anorexic, or dead. Yet.
I'm tired guys, I've done no revision for two days and now it's frustrating me. Didn't want to end up jaded, but here I am. Hmph.
Went to uni to revise yesterday, twas a major waste of time....sort of. Ended up going to selfridges and spazzing out when I saw that four lettered word, SALE. All the jewellery at topshop, freedom and mickeys was slashed. 75%!! Obviously I was going to freak, who wouldn't?
So yeah, spent an hour or two there practically buying a whole stand ¬_¬ got home, idled around for a good four hours just doing absolutely nothing. Not even practicing.
Man this sucks. Exams frikin SUCK.
''Why doesn't he leave me alone? All I do is voice my thoughts, I don't even do it in a rude manner like I used to. I just continually counter what he says because I like to present an argument, if that.
In fact, it's not an argument. It's a debate. But he has to turn it into something worse. It always ends up with me being hit. Stop bloody hurting me, jeez. Violence isn't the answer to everything. Just because what I'm saying is the truth, and you can't freaking handle it. So you just beat me, cause I'm annoying? Is that it?
Yeah, I think it might be.
He gets so irritated by me, and having such a short fuse doesn't help. So short that it's practically non exisitant -__-''
''Then people wonder why I'm so violent. Cause I grew up with it''
''I'm thick, I don't know any other way.'' she continues.
''Makes me so angry, and upset. I'm too old for this, why can't you just STOP! Stop all this hostility! The world is enough of a state as it is. We don't have to encourage it in our bloody homes as well.''
''Arrrrrhhhh. I'm not going to cry cause I've been doing that too much and this shit always happens, what's the point in crying over it? I don't know why I can't feel like I have something to stand on when I'm up against him. I always just... LET him.
The wimp in me seems to take control...or not.
I've the ability to defend myself but choose not to cause for the most part, it feels deserved.''
Does this girl ever stop grumbling about her crappy homelife? She lives there, she's not about to move out anytime soon so she'll just have to deal with it. How? Mmm, not quite sure. Maybe she should just...DO NOTHING cause she's good at doing that. Besides, people are worse off than her. She could be homeless. I think she should complain less and appreciate more *sigh*
Anyway, I JUST realised something. I think I might be going through a self-image-obsession faze. Every time I finish eating something (could be anything), my brain tells me that I've done a bad thing ... =S
I just think ''I shouldn't have eaten that, now I have to work it all off'' it becomes a pain. Then I have to do ten minutes extra..usually the 'yellow belt sequence' as they like to call it, just so the 'fat feeling' doesn't set in.
I still feel fat though..which leads me to doing more exercise.
I think I only feel satisfied when I go to bed hungry. At least I know I haven't eaten so I don't have to do an extra work out XD ...hehe I *almost* hate working out. I can tolerate it, but not the extra part. That's just troublesome.
So anyway, I don't think I've gotten to the point where I'm making myself sick. That's prolly considered to be an eating disorder. Mine is more like.. ''I want muscles. Let's work out. Eating makes me fat. Let's not do that.'' okay maybe that's bordering on an eating disorder.... Oh who frikin cares! I'm not anorexic, or dead. Yet.
I'm tired guys, I've done no revision for two days and now it's frustrating me. Didn't want to end up jaded, but here I am. Hmph.
Went to uni to revise yesterday, twas a major waste of time....sort of. Ended up going to selfridges and spazzing out when I saw that four lettered word, SALE. All the jewellery at topshop, freedom and mickeys was slashed. 75%!! Obviously I was going to freak, who wouldn't?
So yeah, spent an hour or two there practically buying a whole stand ¬_¬ got home, idled around for a good four hours just doing absolutely nothing. Not even practicing.
Man this sucks. Exams frikin SUCK.
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