Apparently, I do a good job of expressing emotions through words. When it comes to my state of affairs however, I struggle.
Right now, I'm happy. Or I was..
I want to be in high spirits but something is bringing me down. Like an incessant voice in the back of my mind telling me that I shouldn't be as happy as I am. That I'm making a mistake and will only end up being disillusioned. Why do I always feel like something is wrong when my emotions become so intense? I was so sure of what I wanted, almost certain of the outcome..but then something changed in my mind. I began to do something dangerous. Think. It's always a bad idea when you think too much about someone or something. It usually ends in disappointment. Why do I feel like whenever something good comes into my life, there's something else on it's tail, waiting to rid me of it?
The situation is bemusing. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I'm in dire need of console; something, anything to reassure me that it will work out.
I was once told never to raise my hopes about anything. One of the life lessons applies right about now. The one that goes like this
''Life is full of disappointments, never expect anything and you can only be pleasantly surprised''
It worked for me for quite a while, until it didn't. Until I began to expect things, thinking that it would always work out just because it happened to work out those couple of times. I did it again with my current situation. I thought all was going to be well and good. What if it isn't? What if my expectations aren't fulfilled? I can't stand the thought of losing now, I don't want to hurt again...
NB. Reacquainted is on hiatus because I'm having major issues.
Right now, I'm happy. Or I was..
I want to be in high spirits but something is bringing me down. Like an incessant voice in the back of my mind telling me that I shouldn't be as happy as I am. That I'm making a mistake and will only end up being disillusioned. Why do I always feel like something is wrong when my emotions become so intense? I was so sure of what I wanted, almost certain of the outcome..but then something changed in my mind. I began to do something dangerous. Think. It's always a bad idea when you think too much about someone or something. It usually ends in disappointment. Why do I feel like whenever something good comes into my life, there's something else on it's tail, waiting to rid me of it?
The situation is bemusing. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I'm in dire need of console; something, anything to reassure me that it will work out.
I was once told never to raise my hopes about anything. One of the life lessons applies right about now. The one that goes like this
''Life is full of disappointments, never expect anything and you can only be pleasantly surprised''
It worked for me for quite a while, until it didn't. Until I began to expect things, thinking that it would always work out just because it happened to work out those couple of times. I did it again with my current situation. I thought all was going to be well and good. What if it isn't? What if my expectations aren't fulfilled? I can't stand the thought of losing now, I don't want to hurt again...
NB. Reacquainted is on hiatus because I'm having major issues.
Comments
kissles xxx
vicky x