Pretentious. This is what I'm not. I can be many things like indifferent, or inspirational or just a plain old javabean but I'm most certainly not pretentious.
You see, my mum thinks I am because I don't like to sing infront of people. I'm reluctant to sing at people's programmes and subconciously turn up my nose at any mention of ''will you be able to sing here....''
So let me tell you what the deal is with this. I do that because I'm anxious. I worry that I might not be good enough, that I won't live up to people's expectations. It's not because I'm an egotistical person who thinks that she's levels above everyone else. This is what my mum thinks that I think I am. To tell you the truth, it pisses me off. I've told her countless times why I act that way but it doesn't seem to get through to her. She always comes back to the same old line ''you're so big headed, if I could sing like you then all I'd ever do is want to sing.''
See, she is missing the point entirely. I want to sing, I love to sing. I just don't like being pestered about it. It's not the end of the freaking world if I refuse to sing at someones wedding, is it?
I feel tired and troubled. I should really go to sleep because I had approximately three hours last night which by no means is enough. I've been running around doing all sorts and haven't eaten for hours. I don't think I have the energy to sleep even. The freshers fair was rather shit...probably because I got there so late and couldn't get my hands on all the freebies. I'm sceptical about there being that many in the first place, so I guess I didn't miss out on much anyways.
I have a life lesson which I plan to elaborate on at some point. It goes something like this.
''If you let someone get close to you, it'll only hurt more when they betray you''
out x
You see, my mum thinks I am because I don't like to sing infront of people. I'm reluctant to sing at people's programmes and subconciously turn up my nose at any mention of ''will you be able to sing here....''
So let me tell you what the deal is with this. I do that because I'm anxious. I worry that I might not be good enough, that I won't live up to people's expectations. It's not because I'm an egotistical person who thinks that she's levels above everyone else. This is what my mum thinks that I think I am. To tell you the truth, it pisses me off. I've told her countless times why I act that way but it doesn't seem to get through to her. She always comes back to the same old line ''you're so big headed, if I could sing like you then all I'd ever do is want to sing.''
See, she is missing the point entirely. I want to sing, I love to sing. I just don't like being pestered about it. It's not the end of the freaking world if I refuse to sing at someones wedding, is it?
I feel tired and troubled. I should really go to sleep because I had approximately three hours last night which by no means is enough. I've been running around doing all sorts and haven't eaten for hours. I don't think I have the energy to sleep even. The freshers fair was rather shit...probably because I got there so late and couldn't get my hands on all the freebies. I'm sceptical about there being that many in the first place, so I guess I didn't miss out on much anyways.
I have a life lesson which I plan to elaborate on at some point. It goes something like this.
''If you let someone get close to you, it'll only hurt more when they betray you''
out x
Comments